Changing our Swing

June 3

Changing our Swing

He went to see a golf instructor to get help with his game. He was a functional golfer, as he liked to put it, but wanted to improve his game. The instructor identified a number of things he could improve. Shift your grip, he said, widen your stance, and focus on your rhythm. Under his watchful eye, the man was successful, but when he went off by himself to practice it was as if his entire game had unraveled.

I smiled as he told me his story, not because I took delight in his struggle, but because I knew what it was like to try to improve something and watch as things actually felt like they were coming apart. Most recently, it happened in my personal life. 

I began working with a wonderful therapist not long ago. She was a pro, someone told me, and I was eager to address things which were getting in my way of living an authentic, meaningful life. After listening to my story, she made suggestions. She challenged long-held beliefs, questioned stories I’d been telling myself, and poked and prodded me in uncomfortable ways. In her office, things made sense, but when I left to practice what we’d talked about it was as if I was losing my mind. Emotions I hadn’t felt in years resurface and it felt as if my inner life is unraveling.

“That’s what getting well is all about,” she told me. “It begins with the courage to try. It continues with making changes. Then, it’s about weathering the uncertainty of living life in new ways.” During a particularly rough day, I clung to her counsel and trusted the way I was feeling was a part of getting better. I wanted to return to my old ways so that the waters will settle, but that doesn’t lead to new life, so I carried on.

Extra Credit:

1.     When have you tried to make changes in your life? (e.g. at work, in a relationship, in your spiritual life)

2.     Did things feel like they got worse before they got better?

3.     Did you weather the storm, or return to the way things were before?