Christmas 2020

“Grow up!”

It’s something all of us have heard and, perhaps, said. Some were more successful than others at following the advice which often sounded more like a reprimand. Like the day I cut my hair and bought a suit two weeks before my college graduation, sometimes we think we can grow up in an instant. Whether in how we behave, the kind of relationships we have, or the work we do, there’s no end to the places in which we can grow up. Faith is another area, but at this time of year I miss the child-like faith I once possessed. 

There was a time when I closed my eyes and breathed in the wonder that is Christmas. I sang carols as if God was the only one listening. I gave without restraint and opened gifts with eyes opened so wide it’s a wonder they didn’t fall out.

More important, I listened to the Christmas story without dissecting it with logic. I took my place besides the shepherds as if I belonged, and welcomed the wise men, eager to see what gifts they bought. I looked out the stable windows and gave thanks for the star and tried to catch Mary of Joseph’s eyes as if to say “This is outrageous!” It was the night of nights, the moment when the course of history changed just because of the child lying in a manger.

Of course, I was told to grow up. Whether by more sophisticated friends or a world that suddenly became too complicated for a child’s faith. It was to be expected, I’m suppose, but on this day more than any other I give thanks for the time when my faith said, “Of course,” and my arms opened without hesitation to welcomed God-with-us.