Connecting the Dots

My sister and I used to play Connect-the-Dots, a game where you draw lines between dots arranged in a grid, the winner being the one who completes the most squares. A step above the numbered dots on a restaurant’s children’s menu where, if you follow the order, it creates an image of a spaceship or dinosaur. At fifty-seven, I thought such games were a thing of the past, but recently I realized how often I still connect the dots. We all do, and maybe it’s time to stop.

·      Your boss asks to meet later in the afternoon, which causes you to imagine what he or she wants to talk about. Maybe you’ve done something wrong, or someone has complained. Walking away from the conversation, where you were praised for something you did well, you can only shake our head in disbelief about where you let your mind go. Dots are endless.

·      Seeing a couple engaged in a heated conversation at a nearby table, you think their marriage is in trouble, that one of them has done something unforgivable, that this is the beginning of the end, only to find they’re discussing the recent election. Dots are misleading.

·      Hearing someone has lost his or her job, you wonder what they did wrong and imagine scenarios - ranging from insubordination to embezzlement, alcoholism to harassment - which could justify the firing, only to learn the company was bought by another and the staffing changes were due to redundancies. Dots are a waste of time.

·      You awaken with a piercing headache and wonder all morning if there’s something significant wrong. Working through a long list of illnesses which could cause such pain, you eventually remember drinking little or no water the day before and realize you’re dehydrated. Dots are distracting.

·      Your spouse is uncharacteristically silent in the morning, or a friend looks at you funny or not at all, and you spend the rest of the day wondering what you’ve done wrong, only to find that they slept poorly or were distracted by something having nothing to do with us. Dots lead us astray.

Connecting the dots can explain or make sense of a world that’s often bewildering. Connecting the dots can help explain the confusing behavior of others. In our desperation for sense and understanding, however, we connect dots that have no business being connected. Perhaps we need to let the dots stand on their own and trust the world doesn’t need our help drawing lines.