Finding by Forgetting

Lost in thoughts about the argument he had with his wife over breakfast and the disturbing call from the bank, he entered the elevator unaware of the woman cowering in the corner. Looking over as the doors closed, he asked if she was alright. No, she said, she wasn’t. Ever since her husband died, she’d been deathly afraid of riding in elevators. The man went and sat on the floor beside her until they reached her floor. Once she was gone, he realized he hadn’t thought of himself or his worries at any point while sitting beside the woman.

Of all the ways we get lost, getting lost in our thoughts and worries is the most frightening. Far from losing our way in the woods or taking the wrong road, getting lost in one’s thoughts and feelings is darker and more bewildering.

When I get lost, I often try to figure things out on my own, but I always become entangled in my own thinking, wrapped up in my feelings. The solution is never found within. Only when I’ve gone beyond myself and focused on someone else has the darkness and confusion been lifted. Like the man in the elevator, when I’ve sat beside another and focused on what was going on with them have I forgotten my thoughts and worries.

When I was hungry, you fed me .  . . when I was naked, you clothed me . . . and when I was in prison you visited me, someone once said. I always thought that was about the people who were hungry, naked and in prison. Now I see it’s just as much about us and how we can find ourselves by forgetting ourselves. 

All it takes is getting on the floor and sitting beside another.