For all the Saints

“In the midst of life, we are in death.” Book of Common Prayer (p.484)

The only religion class my high school offered was on death and dying. Built around the work of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross which describes five stages of grief, I struggled to see the importance of such a class. Afterall, we were teenagers, full of life and seemingly invincible. 

It didn’t take long for that illusion to be washed away. A classmate was killed the day before senior year. His was only the first. Since then, there have been many others. As if all those lost lives weren’t enough, there have been other losses, as well – lost relationships, jobs, reputation, beliefs, certainties, youth, health, you could add to the list, I’m sure.

It’s a wonder we can see straight when death surrounds us. You’d think with all these lessons in grief we would have mastered it by now, but it seems the process of grief is as perplexing as it was when Kubler-Ross tried to help us make sense of it.

I write in the shadow of All Saints’ Day and on the anniversary of my mother’s death. From this vantage point I can “see” with my soul beyond the losses to something beyond. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking or a hope that’s been passed along from generation to generation, but enduring grief seems to be the ticket for admission. It hurts and often causes me to want to run in the opposite direction, but I know from a life of running away that there’s no substitute for walking through grief’s gate and embracing all the emotions that await on the other side. 

Despite having taken a class, and having experienced loss in all its forms, I march on trusting God is walking beside me and those like me who are wrestling with loss as if for the first time.