Friends

It’s early. Before I drive six hours to attend the funeral of a dear friend, I sit in our study and read my morning meditation book. Today’s is all about the importance of relationships. The author pointed out that never, when he was with someone on their deathbed, has he heard someone ask to see their diplomas, awards, or bank statements. What matters most are the people in our lives. It’s a powerful reminder as I prepare to honor my friend by driving so far, but there’s a conviction within the inspiration.

He and I met in college. He was a senior, I a freshman, and still he asked me to be his roommate on the choir tour. Our love for each other grew long past college, and he sang at my wedding reception. He was the kind of friend I loved to go on long drives with because we never stopped talking about things that mattered. He was the kind of friend who dropped everything when I needed a friend. He knew me better than I knew myself. He was one of the true gifts of my life. On my deathbed, he would be one of the people I would ask to see.

But, like far too many friendships, we did not stay in touch. We married, had children, and worked hard at our careers. We were in touch enough, as if there was some kind of minimum requirement, and I am happy to say we were starting to be in touch more often recently, but the fact is he was diagnosed with cancer in July and I didn’t know it, he got remarried last summer and I never heard. I am as torn by this distance between us as by his death.

I agree with this morning’s author that relationships are the most important thing in our lives – with God and others (The two are connected, as someone wise pointed out). I need to readjust my life to better reflect that. I certainly have enough time in the car to reflect on such a change, and I wanted to invite you to reflect on your relationships as well. Let’s not wait until our deathbeds.