Getting Choked Up

These are difficult days, goes the refrain for those who are struggling during the holidays. The lights, decorations, and music are emotional triggers for some, and instead of being a season of joy it becomes a season of sadness.

As I listened to someone getting choked up talking about it, I thought about why this season carries such power. While I have always adored Christmas, there’s a deep longing and sadness that lie beneath the surface. Thinking of my childhood and Christmases with my children, I can get pulled beneath the surface of the season and closer to my soul’s deepest longings. Like my friend, I get choked up easily at this time of year.

Fred Buechner, one of my favorite spiritual writers, said that when we get choked up, when our hearts ascend into our throats, we should pay attention. It’s then that our defenses are lower, and our souls are closer. In a season when we talk about God being with us, when we’re reminded of the gift of family and friends, when the losses of life point us to the sacredness of every minute, it is little wonder why we find ourselves getting choked up.

To be unable to sing a carol because our heart is in our throat is a reason to give thanks for the gift of this time of year. It's difficult because it matters. The petty stuff we so often focus on slips away and we face the memories, blessings, and longings found only in our souls. No wonder we get choked up.

May it always be so.