Imperfect Poses

She wasn’t very good at yoga, but she went to class two times a week. Always sure to pick a spot in the back of the room, she tried her hardest not to look at the others and compare. Her downward-dog pose was crouched, her warrior wilted. Still, she tried. “It’s enough to strike the pose,” her wise instructor once said. “That you are here and trying is what truly matters.” Such graced kept her from quitting, and now she’s growing proficient in her practice.

When she told me about her yoga efforts, I was comforted by her instructor’s sage advice. It’s enough to get in position and try. When it comes to my life, particularly my spiritual life, that’s what I need most. Too often, I struggle with absolutes - I must do something absolutely, and it must be done to perfection. If you know me, you know that all the evidence is to the contrary.

I am working with my sponsor on steps two and three of the 12-steps, which are, believing in a power greater than myself, and turning my life and will over to the care of God, as I understand God. You would think for a minister such steps would be easy, but because I too often look around the room and see others who live more spiritual lives and see the countless faults in my spiritual “poses,” I often want to quit. I convince myself there’s more integrity in not believing than in believing imperfectly, but then I find myself drawn to God, once again. I can’t help it.

Today, I am going to accept my crouchy, wilty faith and trust that my showing up and trying is what matters in God’s sight. I will strike the pose and trust, somehow, it’s enough.