Knowing the Father

I didn’t know his father. Although we've been friends for years, somehow I never met his father. Still, when I received news of his father’s death, I knew I had to attend the funeral. In doing so, I learned something important.

When they spoke of his father’s wit, I couldn’t help but think of my friend’s humor. He’s the one who says something in just the right way, with exactly the right words, and sets the room ablaze with laughter. He isn’t the entertainer, just the observer of everything and everyone who offers a phrase that’s then quoted by us for years.

When they spoke of his father’s ingenuity as an investor, the way he liked to visit companies and watch them build their products rather than read a prospectus, I couldn’t help but think of my friend's entrepreneurial spirit. Not one for conventional work, he was made to imagine and create what has never been.

When they spoke of his father’s kindness and inability to judge others, I couldn’t help be think of the way my friend always refrains from talking about others when they are not in the room, how he always assumes there’s more to every story than what’s being said about another.

Leaving the funeral, I realized I did know his father. I knew him through his son.

The lesson soon shed light on my faith. Like never before, I saw what the Church meant when it says we will know the Father through the Son, but I also saw how the lesson spoke to my own life. Like my friend, is mine a life that teaches of another? Can someone know my father, mother, church, or the world of twelve step recovery because they knew me?

Such questions shine new light on the importance of our lives. Who do people know through us? If we are created in someone’s image, are our lives accurate reflections? If we come from a wonderful family, is there evidence beyond our DNA? If we were incapable of telling someone what we believe, or what matters to us most, would they be able to tell by watching?

In other words, when people leave our funeral, who will they say they knew because the knew us?