Puffing up the Pillows

“For many a dance starts with a trip, and many a song finds its opening through a cough.” Mark Nepo

The place was a mess. He’d lived alone for ages and didn’t care what his apartment looked like. “I should clean up the place,” he thought to himself and walked over an puffed up the pillows on the couch. Unfortunately, he thought his work was over, when, in fact, it was just beginning.

Maybe it’s my stage in life, but it is becoming clear to me that the most important work we can do is to become our true selves. After years of striving to be this or that, to achieve this or that, I realize what matters is finding our true selves. Such a quest is not an invitation for more striving, although it is going to take enormous effort. Such a quest does not mean looking for a new job, although the implications of such a journey may involve changing the outside of our lives. But where it all begins is inside.

Who are you . . . really?

Underneath all the outside and visible, is there a flickering light within you, longing to be seen or given air?

Turning one’s gaze inward is scary. Outward striving is easier. (Afterall, we have years of practice.) Looking inward is new and challenging. It takes time, and the results are illusive . . . but they’re lasting. It’s easier to puff up the pillows than get at the work that’s really needed. I, for one, am tired of puffing up the pillows.

In alcoholics anonymous, they say someone is either moving toward a drink or away. I think the same is true with our journey toward authenticity. In each action we take, each comment we make, we are either moving toward our authentic selves or away.

Only one direction leads to new life. We might stumble as we do this work, but that’s because this path is new. I have no doubt it’s worth it.