Teammates

I didn’t like him. Yes, I helped move his things up to his dorm room, but that was only because his cousin standing by, who happened to also attend the school, was drop-dead gorgeous. My efforts had nothing to do with him; They were all about her.

When I arrived at soccer try-outs, I was dismayed to see he was not a football player. As we broke into our preferred positions, I saw he was a goalie. I was not, but I was a deep sweeper, the defenseman who serves as the last one between the opponent and the goal, the one who stands closest to the goalie.

Soon the roster was posted and the two of us were now teammates, next to each other for the remainder of the season. Things remained rocky between the two alpha dog soccer players . . that is, until our first game. Suddenly, the two of us looked beyond each other, down the field, and realized we had a bigger purpose, a new opponent.

Memories of the rest of that season are among my fondest. Our successful season paled in comparison to the friendship that emerged. That pain in the ass goalie became my closest friend. He was an usher at my wedding and ordination, and I officiated at his wedding. More than those official moments, however, it’s those times when we were in his dorm room, playing backgammon and sharing what was really going on in our lives, that I hold most dear. More than the content of those conversations, I remember the shared love of music, the safety of real friendship, and, of course, my superior backgammon abilities.

Looking back, I wonder how many other friendships I’ve missed because of a limited perspective? How many people have come my way only to have my initial impressions prevent me from looking down the field at a bigger purpose?

Of course this is not just about me and a high school friend. In a community of artists, we can focus on our own creative pursuits while comparing ourselves to others, or we can look down the field at the gift we give the world by creating and support each other in that common goal. In a business, we could worry about our own career or see beyond and work with others for the reason the company is in business in the first place. In a church, we can glance down the pew and compare our righteousness (or sinfulness) to others, or link our arms and hearts together for the journey of grace we share.

Today I give thanks for the gift of my high school friend and the lesson we learned. May I remember to always look down the field and assemble as many teammates as I can.