The I's have it!

Someone once said, “we should always count the I’s.” His point was that we reveal a lot about ourselves, and our perspective on things, by the words we use. In this particular case, he was showing how our frequent use of “I” reveals a preoccupation with self. The speaker caused me to pause and see if I was guilty of such self-centered language. The answer, unfortunately was, yes.

Twelve-step recovery circles speak of “the bondage of self,” and I know those chains only too well. They also have a humorous saying: “I’m not much, but I’m all I think about,” which wouldn’t be so funny if it wasn’t so true.

The chains that bind us are everywhere we look:

·      The politician who speaks of public service while increasing his net worth ten-fold.

·      The minister who preaches about the community of all believers while making sure the spotlight is always pointed in her direction.

·      The couple who makes sure their names appear in the top supporter group not because of their passion for the organization but their preoccupation with being seen as leaders in their town.

Such examples abound, but what about “ordinary people” like you and me - the ones who have no office in the capital, no pulpit in which to stand? We might think we’re free from such self-centeredness, but an honest examination might prove otherwise.

·      Do we turn conversations in our direction?

·      Are we particularly fond of those who are fond of us?

·      Do we give our opinions and answers more than we ask questions?

·      Do we offer help in hopes of being seen doing so?

There’s a “more excellent way,” one that frees us of our self-centered fears. Spiritual leaders have often shown us the way. Jesus said anyone who wants to find his life must lose it, and the final words in the prayer attributed to St. Francis says it as well:

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

I don’t know about you, but I need to be reminded to look beyond myself, so the I’s no longer dominate my words and actions.

It’s then I’ll be free.