Trophies

My grandmother’s dining room was once filled with countless trophies. They lined the room on a shelf and gave witness to a remarkable sailing career. Although I never thought much about them, I knew, even as a child, it was an impressive collection. Returning to the home this weekend, I noticed the shelf had been taken down and all the trophies were gone. In town for my aunt’s funeral, the last of her generation, I couldn’t help but think about the passage of time and the trophies of life.

I was taught at an early age that the goal of life was to make a difference, to leave a mark, a legacy. I remember my striving for my high school diploma. I joked about how I would frame it in gold and hang it where everyone could see it. I remember wanting a particular college award that came with a brass pin. I said I’d never take it off if I got it. When I started working in schools, I was determined to make a name for myself. I wanted my children to think about me the way I thought about my father.

I’m embarrassed to admit, I have no idea where to find my high school diploma, in the drawer of my dresser the brass pin sits tarnished, and my children think very little about what their father once did. What I once thought was important, what I needed to define me, no longer matters. Like my grandmother’s trophies, the achievements I valued have been taken down and put away.  

I can’t help but wonder what really matters, what really lasts? Life chasing trophies is exhausting. I still believe we’re called to make a difference, to leave a mark, but maybe we do so in the wrong way.

My aunt’s funeral was a reminder that each of us comes with an expiration date and none of us knows how much time we have. A wise man pointed out that people on their deathbed never ask to see their financial portfolio, the name plate on their office door, or any award given. And yet, that’s what we spend most of our lives striving for and talking about. I have a feeling all those who have come to the end of their lives would tell us to stop the striving and start the living for what really matters.

With all the striving that surrounds us and all the shiny trophies waiting, it’s easy to get caught up in what doesn’t last. There’s a more excellent way, and it’s high time I find it, for where my treasure is, there my heart will be also.