Fathers' Day 2020: New Frames

Like many people living though COVID 19 times, I used the stay-at-home days to tackle long neglected home projects. Piles of paperwork were filed, new batteries were put in the fire detectors whether they needed them or not, and each bicycle is now is operational form. Recently, I’ve turned my attention to the many photographs displayed throughout our home and my studio. Some needed to be replaced with more current photos, but others just needed to be reframed. I always marvel at how much better a picture can look if it’s put in a suitable frame. 

I suppose that work prepared me for today, Fathers’ Day. I know it’s a wonderful celebration for many, but there are those for whom this is not an easy day. “It’s complicated,” said a friend when he spoke of Fathers’ Day, and I couldn’t agree more. Searching for father songs for my Spotify Fathers’ Day playlist, has shown me what a common struggle today can be. 

My father died when I was a freshman in college. I adored him. In fact, I’d say I idolized him. A kind and loving man with a wonderful sense of humor. A consummate performer, he was brilliant and enormously creative. He was a man of faith and lived out that faith in word as well as deed. The problem is, when someone like that dies so early in life, their reputation becomes legendary, their shadow all-encompassing.

Then there’s the whole being a father thing. Like New Year’s Eve, when people put on silly hats and drink too much all in the name of forcing a good time, Father’s Day can feel a bit orchestrated. Like midnight on January 1, we wait for the band to play only to see all the ways we haven’t been the fathers we hoped to be. 

This year I’m going to fight such morose thoughts and let the day be what it is. I’m going to accept my fatherhood for what it is and give thanks for the father I had. I’m going to look at Fathers’ Day anew, giving thanks for the many blessings rather than bemoaning the many shortcomings. In other words, I’m going to take all my old thoughts and images out of their frames and move them into new ones.