Spiritual ADD

I have ADD.

I suppose I always have, but when I grew up they didn’t know of such a thing, so I’ve lived this way, un-medicated, all my life. In certain jobs and situations, it’s proved helpful, but it’s an exhausting way to live. I can’t sit at a table in a restaurant without hearing other conversations. I can’t tune out candy wrappers or whispers in movie theaters, nor can I focus at a dinner table with multiple conversations.

As I contemplate my spiritual life, I realize I have spiritual ADD as well. I don’t think I’m alone either. In a world with countless noises and distractions, it’s little wonder that few of us can sit still, tune things out, and find a place of peace. Early in the morning, as I sit in a favorite chair with a cup of coffee, I settle in for some quiet time only to hear the shouts from the bills in my mailbox. On a scenic walk in the woods, thoughts and worries about my children dominate my view. Sitting in church, I'm more concerned with who is sitting around me than who we came to worship.

Even if the world around us cooperates, some of us would find ways to stay distracted. Instead of walking alone, we'd invite a friend to join us. Sitting in solitude, we'd turn on a stereo or TV rather than enjoy the silence.  Waiting for the service to begin, we'd read through the bulletin than meditate.

In the end, it’s all "spiritual ADD" and it’s exhausting and unfulfilling.  Racing to nowhere in particular, talking in sound bites, leaves us with what one person calls “fast food spirituality.” It may seem like a meal, but it’s not healthy and we’re hungry soon after we feast.

The four partially read books on my bedside table show me how much I need to focus, slow down, and take more in of less than little out of much. Such a change will not come naturally, but with awareness, practice, and a bit of patience, it might lead to some significant growth.

(I’d write more, but there’s a squirrel outside my window.)